Flashback

 

Assalamualaikum.

Okay so i have a story. It took me almost 3 hours to finish this post so stay!

This happened when i was like 9 or 10 years old i guess. So i was at my granny's and my big family decided to go out somewhere(they went to visit their relatives and friends i guess) but my cousin and my teenage aunty didnt want to join the oldies so they decided to ask for my grandma's permission to go to the funfair. And so my grandma approved. Turned out my sister heard them talking about going to the funfair so she wanted to come along. And so she went.

Well of course i knew about their plans because when i entered my aunt's room, they were all so busy looking for a proper outfit to wear.

And i was like 'em nak pakai baju apa ni eh? mintak dgn mama ah' i was whispering but my aunt, my cousin, and sister still could hear me talking to myself.

"Nadia nak gi mana ni cari baju?" -aunt

"Em funfair lah kan?"

"Oh" -aunt

So i went to my mom's room which is next to my aunt's to ask for my outfit from mom. Mom put them on her bed and went out. As i walked up to close the door, suddenly i heard something

"Dia nak ikut kita gi funfair gak ke?"

"Tah ye kot, haha"

"Padahal kita tak ajak pun dia kan hahahaha"

"HAHAHAHA"

I heard everything. Yes they were whispering but they forgot one thing that my granny's house is rumah kayu and yeah.

Mom came into the room and was shocked to see that i didnt get dressed yet so i said to mom that i wanted to just stay at home and not going anywhere.

Apparently she did not believe that i simply did not want to go either to visit my relatives or to the funfair with my aunt and cousin.

"Betul ke ni nak stay kat rumah je? Ke diorang tak bagi ikut? Bagitahu lah mama kalau diorang tak bagi kau ikut"

I didnt say a word. And so my aunt, cousin and sister went to the funfair without me. And i stayed at home alone with my 7 years old cousin.

I actually cried because NO MATTER HOW SMALL I MIGHT BE BUT STILL I DID HAVE FEELINGS AND I WAS SO SAD KNOWING THAT MY AUNT WOULD DO SUCH THING TO ME YEah and just a friendLY REMINDER I WAS 9/10 YEArs old okay

Truth be told when i was crying i did not just simply cry like a 7 years old girl who did not get to buy a barbie doll and cry her heart out but i was actually really really sad inside, the pain...

And i actually wrote a short diary on my dad's laptop you know i could not scream or whatever to release this tense so i thought maybe if i wrote about it i could be less tension right.

I wanted to delete that draft but then i thought if i deleted this draft then sia sia jelah i tulis kan?

So i hid the file like you know hidden files?

Couple hours later i tried to find the file i hid because i didnt want my dad or uncle to read what i wrote but i couldnt seem to find it. Where did it go? What happened?

Bugged me till today. Where did it go? What happened to that file?

P/s: please jaga hati dan perasaan orang, walaupun budak kecik because children have feelings too.

Nota: tak suka goreng ikan. minyak ikan jahat! yes minyak ikan sebab selalu nak meletup kena muka tangan blabla

Nota tambahan: 2014 in 5 days i am so ready!

:)