HOW CAN I BE SO FCKING STUPID I USED TO THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE MAD AND ANGRY AND AHHH BUT THE FACT IS REALLY LIKE SERIOUSLY HE'S THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE MAD ANGRY SAD AND SO ON. SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE I WANNA DIE NOW I SHOULD GO DIE NOW. SOMEONE SHOULD TELL ME ABOUT THIS SERIOUSLY UGH SCREW MYSELF.
I HATE MYSELF I'M SORRY WHAT CAN I DO SO THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. TELL ME JUST TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO SEEK FORGIVENESS FROM YOU. I SURELY WILL DO ANYTHING PLEASE I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY :'(
I REGRET EVERYTHING LIKE EVERYTHING I'D DONE TO YOU.
Anyway, I still can handle it if you won't forgive me. Now I know just how you feel. You told my sis like everything I need to know. I'm just kinda hurt that she just kept it as a secret. Maybe, she has her own reasons kot. And now, almost 10 months baru aku tahu semuanya. Semuanya maybe. For all this time, I think I was right where actually I'm the stupidest person in this whole wide world.
My friend said, "There is wisdom in silence." But where can I find the wisdom in this kind of silentness? I think I know how hard he had gone through all these things, alone, for all this time. And the most saddest part is, I'm the reason for all his sadness all this time. And as for me? Aku bersenang-lenang, bersuka-ria. Stupid me.
I'm so sorry. It's maturity that I'm lacking.
Me :'(